Midlife Mom Crisis?

I've grown restless with my blog design and in an effort to personalize it, I've stumbled across a sort of crisis. I wanted to put some pictures of things that sort of define me or at least illustrate my interests and hobbies. Why do I draw such a blank?

I feel very happy right now in my life. I enjoy my kids so much - they are so often doing things that make me look at them and think, "I have such a nice family" and "Wow, I am really so lucky." I look at the things that I do in a typical day. A large amount of my time is spent feeding people and getting them to sleep. I am constantly behind in my housework. I have discovered that I am much poorer at keeping a clean house than I have previously given myself credit for. It is SO easy for me to put off cleaning when Ryan asks me to read him a book or it's a perfectly clear blue sky outside. I rarely get a break from being "Mom" but I'm also SO invested in the lives of my children that I cannot justify regular time away from them. This is why I cannot come up with a single hobby or interest. Well, that's not entirely true. I cannot come up with an un-pathetic interest. I am often thinking about what to feed my family. Is food an interest of mine? I am always looking for a good deal. Am I a shop-a-holic? I like to read. Who doesn't? Am I doing anything to broaden my horizons? Strengthen my character? Take opportunities for some "Me" time? Not often. Do I have any market-able skills? Do I scrapbook, sew, paint, knit, garden? Not really. I sound very pathetic to myself.

Maybe it comes from moving to a new place and becoming acclimated. I hope to discover something new about myself in the near future. Something positive, something interesting. I'd like to discover what might be a strength for me or some kind of talent that I can actually invest some energy in. Though frankly, I have sure learned a thing or two about myself since becoming a parent. I am not exactly main-stream which has actually surprised even me at times. Still, parenting seems to make us own up to our inconsistencies. I think differently than I did before. Maybe what I really want to be is this unselfish person who is more concerned about my children and their needs and their identities than my own. The rest will work itself out. Maybe in losing myself, I will find myself.

In the meantime... how do I pick some pictures for my blog header that seem to illustrate who I am? (rhetorical question)

Twinners

Grandma got the girls matching PJ's. I had to take about 45 pictures to get this one. Katie kept crawling away and would shriek when I'd pick her up and put her next to Evie. Evie doesn't like loud noises (Katie) and would cry whenever Katie screamed. But you must admit, this one is pretty cute.

They are pretty much the same size. Katie is slightly taller, Evie is slightly heavier, but they look pretty similar to me. Evie has 6 teeth, Katie just popped out her 4th. We are excited for NEXT Christmas with these girls together. Should be so much fun!

Amarylis

Due to my past performance as a houseplant owner, Derek seriously questioned my ability to keep this beauty alive. I must say that he underestimated the power of a window box. This pretty thing began as a bulb on Halloween. Now, 2 months later she has become a full blown Amarylis. I enjoyed growing her so much that I decided that this was the right gift for Derek's assistant at work. (Don't worry Mom, I DIDN'T get her coasters). Hers are Hyacinth bulbs though and should turn out equally beautiful.

Are you taller than a Zebra?

I found this fun growth chart at a teacher supply store. I thought it was a fun way to brighten up our house and also keep track of how the kids are growing. It also has those cards on the side which let you compare how tall you are to five other animals. You might be able to find the line which indicates how tall Ryan is. He is taller than a cheetah, but shorter than a python (from tail to head). Is anyone else surprised that a flamingo is taller than a Zebra or Wildebeest? I sure was. Katie doesn't have a line yet, but she's about where the lines start on the giraffe. Shorty!

For Gina:

I was seriously contemplating getting some for you, but I had no idea you wanted the giraffe. I thought you were going for more like this.

If you need these then I'll bring them to Phx for Christmas for you. Just say the word and I can go back and get more for myself later.

Gift Idea

Anyone know of a good gift idea for Derek's assistant at work? We really don't know much about her interests. She is about 25, is not married and doesn't have any kids. We need something not too personal but at least semi-classy since he works at a law firm. I'd take any suggestions at this point. I would prefer NOT a gift card.

Well, let's just say that #1 she is probably going to get gifts for our kids. #2 Probably some of the attorneys in the office will get their assistant gifts in the $100 range (to put that in perspective, that would be the partners who have been working there a LONG time and who have more than triple Derek's salary). I am hoping to get something in the $20-$25 range. Something sort of like these coasters.
I know they are coasters. Is that SO dorky? Feedback please.

I like how she's clutching his shirt.

Working on our year's supply

November's goal - 14 gallons of water storage per person. Ta da!! Meet our new 55 gallon water storage barrell (complete with pump and wrench). We finally decided on a place to put it (since we won't be moving it around much once it's filled) but we need to actually put water in it. It doesn't do us much good when it's empty.

Also displayed is an emergency food supply from Costco that says it is 275 servings. Not bad for a 10 gallon bucket! I can't really say that it's "health food", but it will keep us alive in an emergency. It also has a 20 year shelf life so we don't have to rotate that very often. If we each had 3 servings a day it wouldn't meet our calorie requirements, so it's really supplemental food, but it's a start!

There is no emergency preparedness goal for December but I can't wait for January. I am glad that we are in a position to follow the prophet in this manner (not so glad that we're in an area that is prone to earthquakes where we might actually have to USE this stuff.)

*clarification* There are different food packets in the bucket - it's not like a bucket of grits. It has 55 packets (5 servings each) and you boil the stuff in water. Our menu choices: Barley Vegetable, Blueberry Pancakes, Ala King, Cacciatore, Country Noodle, Corn Chowder, Rice Lentil, Western Stew, Whey Milk, and Potato Ba-kon (which is a way of saying vegetarian bacon I think.)

Disneyland Report

Well, the first thing that all you Disneyland goers with small children should know; don't take your two year old on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride first thing. In fact, you probably would be better off not taking him on it at all. It made Ryan pretty sceptical about the whole Disneyland experience - right from the beginning.

Let's zoom in on those "happiest place on earth" sort of expressions!

Let's see, maybe flying Dumbo will fix things and restore his faith in Disneyland. Yeah, he liked that pretty well. Katie was indifferent about EVERYTHING. It looks like I'm having tons of fun on Dumbo though.

Carousel was a success. (We could have taken him to Arrowhead Mall and spent a few bucks on that one.)

We tried Toon town and that went over well. Minnie Mouse has a plate of holographic "diet" cookies on her kitchen table and he tried for a long time to get one of those. I kept badgering Derek to take pictures of Ryan on the cars and a fire engine and trolley and such, but for some reason, there are none of those on my camera.

He liked the Disneyland railroad - even the dinosaur part. He is definitely in a train stage right now. (I realise the picture is not convincing.)

Autopia was also a big hit. Derek helped him get started but Ryan steered the rest of the time. It was a wild ride. Anyone else want to guess what color car they drove? I promise they only went once.

We went over to California Adventure to catch the Aladdin show that Devin went to last year. He had really enjoyed it so we thought we'd give it a shot. Ryan loved it even though there was a scary *Jafar turns into a big fat red snake* part. In fact, we asked him afterwards which part was his favorite and he said, "the BIG snake." It was quite entertaining. The genie was cracking jokes about Jafar when he rubbed the lamp and said, "Slytherin house for sure." I got a laugh out of that one.

Ryan liked that he could fold himself in half in the chairs. *Jimmy, don't read this next part* I was nursing Katie (VERY discreetly I might add) and we were in our own row on the end when this group of people came and sat next to us. After a minute or two they actually LEFT because I was nursing. That's never happened to me before and I swear that I wasn't being all flashy about it!

Ryan DID get to see Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Max (Goofy's son who waved to him), and Santa Claus. He wasn't interested in touching or talking to any of them, but he did wave every time. We never saw Sulley walking around, but we DID go on the Monster's Inc. ride the very last thing. It was a slow-moving ride and not too loud so it was just perfect for a kid who knows the characters and all. He would wave every time we saw Sulley and Mike and Boo and Celia Welia (as we always call her). At the end of the ride was Roz and she said, "In case you didn't realize, I'm standing under the mistletoe." Ryan scooted over to the edge of the seat as far from her as possible. :)

When it was over I asked him if he liked that one and he said, "Yeah, and I wasn't even nervous!" Whew!

"What was your favorite part about Disneyland Ryan?"
"That one," he said, pointing to Monster's Inc.

Yes, it's still such a love/hate relationship.

We got in the car and took the kids over to a babysitter's house and made it back late for our dinner. The park had already closed but luckily we found a reasonable guy who knew about our group and escorted us back in so we wouldn't miss out on our meal. We sat across from a HILARIOUS couple who entertained us the whole meal. Now how's that for lucky?

Yeah, I could taste this one.

In Katie's defense, she looked just as surprised as I was about the whole thing. She just does NOT ever spit-up. Who am I? My mother?

We're going to Disneyland!!

We were invited to a dinner at California Adventure (compliments of Derek's firm) which includes 2 adult park hopper passes for this Thursday. We are making it a family outing since our kids are still free. Derek was hyping up Disneyland to Ryan this evening and told him he could drive a car and meet Mickey Mouse. At night before bed tonight Ryan said, "We're going to Disneyland and I'm going to meet Mickey Mouse and drive his car. Maybe he has an airplane." Ha! This kid is no dummy. He's planning to take Mickey for all he's worth.

The car thing reminded me that I had these pictures of Ryan driving our neighbor's Hummer. He LOVES this thing!

The Unexpected

I know you all will want to tell me that it won't last, he'll go back to his old ways soon enough. Don't bother. I don't really CARE. I'm still shocked and very pleased by the recent turn of events. I realize this sort of thing ebbs and flows, but I am at least going to be happy with yesterday and today.

Ryan has potty trained himself.

Well, at least starting on Wednesday afternoon he decided he wanted to start going potty in the toilet. He went 4 times in a row and then went to bed. Thursday he woke up and announced that he wanted to wear his "big boy underwear" (which he only has one pair) and so I let him. He went potty ALL DAY long in the toilet with only one miss. I never even suggested that he use the toilet, he would tell me every time. I'd say, "Do you want to go read some books?" and he'd reply, "After I go potty in the toilet and get a potty treat." Yes, he does get a treat every time. He's had TONS of candy the past two days, but I haven't had to clean up the floor even one time and I don't remind him AT ALL to use the potty.

We were playing outside with one of his friends on Thursday and when we were going home I asked him if he wanted a snack. He said, "After we go to the store and buy me some big boy underwear." Yes sir! We hopped right in the car and bought him the ones he chose, Thomas the Tank Engine and some boxer briefs.

Too good to last? Maybe. So what!? I'm still impressed with him - so there! I wouldn't mind at all if he decided he wanted to wear diapers again. He's still pretty young to be potty trained anyway, but the past few days have shown me that he CAN be potty trained. whew!

The new BANNED MOVIE list

Ryan has never been a full-length movie fan. And then, he discovered Monsters Inc. Just about a week and a half ago he actually sat through it, and now he asks to watch it all of the time. The first week was no problem as he found it quite hilarious. Unfortunately, after Thanksgiving weekend when cousin Matt told Ryan there was a monster outside, Monsters Inc. is the first of our movies on the "banned movie" list.

Not sure exactly what got into this kids mind, but now he's scared to death of monsters. He always thinks there is a monster in his room. Multiple times each day I tell him that monsters are not real, he'll never ever see one because they are just pretend and in the movie. He will say, "they scare the boy in the movie" and then I explain that it was just pretend. "Even in the movie Sulley protects Boo and keeps her safe. They are so nice and funny monsters." Then I try a new one, "Monsters don't like music. You can turn on your music or sing if you get nervous." Hmm.. I've got to be sending mixed signals here, "Monsters don't exist, but this is how you get rid of them." sheesh! I think of Jana giving Matt a flashlight to scare away monsters or other moms giving "monster spray."

Yesterday when he asked to watch it, I put on Toy Story instead. In Toy Story I can't think of any scary parts. After about 2 minutes Ryan says, "I don't like this movie." Darn!

Right before the monster thing he would tell me that he was scared of his room because he "didn't want a guy to come in his room." Now, I have NO idea where he got this idea. We do NOT watch television so he couldn't have picked that up from anything on TV and he has only ever watched 4 movies in his life. 2 Baby Songs, one of the Baby Einstein videos, and Monsters Inc., but Monsters Inc was AFTER he was talking about a guy coming in his room. I must say, I'd rather he be scared of monsters than some "bad guy" getting him. I really don't like this part of parenting. I hate the idea of him being scared.

Each time he says he's scared I tell him we can say a prayer and Jesus and angels will keep him safe and protect him. So, last night Derek prayed for him to be safe, and then Ryan asked me to say a prayer too. I prayed that angels would protect him and then he interrupted me and said, "and Sulley." Darn it if I didn't pray that Sulley would keep him safe too. Anything to get his mind off of the scary things and focus on good things. *sigh*

This too shall pass...

Katie's "well" check-up

Katie had her 9 month well-baby check up today. She weighed in at 15 lbs 13 oz (8%) and was 27.5 inches long (50%). Head circumference was 17.5 inches (also 50%). She has officially outgrown her infant carseat, but it doesn't really matter since we've had her in a convertible one for about 2 months now.

She has a double ear infection (not surprised) and we're being referred to a pediatric orthopedic doctor since her feet turn in a little more than usual. I guess I did notice that one, but figured it would correct when she started walking. The doctor said she was at an age where stranger anxiety might crop up. I'll start keeping my eye out for that one. (*heavy sarcasm*)

Four years down, an eternity to go...

Heck, if you put it that way, we'll always be newlyweds.

Happy Anniversary Derek.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A darn good day

First off, it's Jimmy's 19th birthday. Happy Birthday James.

Second, Derek and I finally got to do a session at the Newport Beach Temple. It's one of the small temples and it was our first time there. It was VERY beautiful (as could be expected) and it was a long overdue excursion for us. Our kids didn't even terrorize the sitters! It was pretty funny when we got home because Katie was so giddy to see us. I've never seen her grin from ear to ear like that. It was nice to leave and have her so happy for us to be home.

Lastly, and most importantly, we found out that Derek R. Bayles, Esq. has officially passed the California BAR exam! He deserves to be congratulated because that was one horrific test folks! Glad to have it behind us, and I'm really proud of him. We dragged the kids out for ice cream to celebrate even though it was 9:30 and Ryan was telling me that he was really tired. Oh well, sleep can wait while we celebrate!

Final House Tour

Gina made a request for more house pictures so here is pretty much the rest of it. I'm not posting pictures of my bedroom because it seems to always be too messy to photograph. Go figure. Anyway, we haven't decorated any walls yet, but I have a pile of pictures that are "to be hung" when I can finally decide where I want them. Oh well, I can't wait forever to blog this so I figured I'd just get it over with. Descriptions precede the pictures.

This is a shot from my living room toward the dining room and kitchen. The door on the left is the front door, door on the right is the garage entrance. (That reminds me, I never took a picture of the garage. Well, if you're interested I might do that later.) In between the doors is the step where Ryan bashed his head open.

This shot is standing on the step looking left at the bookcase. We bought this thing from Sams Club and brought it home. After Derek assembled it I noticed that it had like 38 puncture holes in it all over the place and quite a few scratches. It looked like someone took a nail and just hammered in a cluster on 3 or 4 sides of the thing. SO, I called the customer service to complain and she told me that it was "a distressed finish they gave to it." You mean, they did this on purpose?? Whatever. Instead of saying that it had a distressed finish, the box should've said, "We beat the crap out of this bookshelf for you." Heck, if I wanted it to look trashed I could've let Ryan loose on the thing. Oh well, we cut our losses since it was a relatively inexpensive bookshelf to begin with. I should hang a picture or two - this looks so boring!


Here is the dining room table and roll top desk. We do not eat here (do you notice the carpet?) but Ryan and I will color and sew and that sort of thing. I just attempt to keep it somewhat uncluttered.

This is standing in the doorway to the kitchen. I don't have many complaints about this place, but the kitchen floor has GOT to go. Ryan spilled flour all over it Sunday and it got in all the cracks between the wood slats. *sigh* It really is nightmarish to clean. That hanging lamp is pretty ugly too.

Standing in the porch doorway you get this view to the left.

And to the right. (New dishwasher, old fridge)

Out toward the dining room again.

Sink and oven and such. Please don't say anything about my window box set up. I DID take out the divider and got another little Amarylis plant. I have all of these bananas and pears that need to ripen so I have them in my window to keep Ryan away from them (my sisters understand). It doesn't look great - really cluttered and not even semi-symetrical, but your suggestions didn't fall on deaf ears.


I guess all that's left is my bedroom, garage, and the porch.

Blender Recommendations

Okay folks, my Bosch blender has officially gone kaput - there's no fixing this one, and I'm not up to spending $300 to replace it. So... I'm looking for some good blender recommendations. I got a suggestion from Gina already but I just want to check out my options before running out to get a brand new one. I want something that ACTUALLY blends things into liquids, is sturdy and long lasting, and is under $100. If you own something that qualifies, let me know asap! I can't live long without one.

oh, and I DO have a new post coming soon. You don't all have to stop checking my blog.

Ryan and the Tractor

I don't have a story to tell, but he LOVES tractors and tells me how much he wants to drive one. We saw some tractors on the side of the road walking home from the creek one day, and I just couldn't resist taking his picture by one. It seemed harmless for him to sit on it and I knew it would make his day, so I helped him up and he was thrilled.

I told him not to touch anything and I think I made him a little nervous. He was really good though and sat there nice and still for the picture.

Happy Halloween

My kids wore the same costumes trick or treating so I didn't take any more pictures of them dressed up. This is when we got home and Ryan started checking out his candy situation. I told him to eat whatever he wanted because in the morning I was going to throw it all away. He picked a Scooby Doo sucker first. Here is how he started out. Notice the Halloween shirt (from Jana's boys) and that he has 3 open suckers that he is working on at the same time.

Now he has 5 that he's eating all at the same time.

By the end of the night, he had 11 suckers all opened and licked, but none even close to finished. Actually, I think he finished one of them. I think the only other candy he ate was a small box of nerds and m&m's. I may be wrong.

Katie tried to get in on the action, but to no avail. Her efforts were thwarted by myself.

Trunk or Treat

There isn't much to say except that Ryan's costume got many comments and Katie fell asleep pretty soon after we got there. I put her down for 12 seconds to take her picture and she got instantly filthy as you can see. Oh well. And she's supposed to be Pegasus (thank you freecycle). It's the frilliest, foo foo costume, but it fit.