Midlife Mom Crisis?
I've grown restless with my blog design and in an effort to personalize it, I've stumbled across a sort of crisis. I wanted to put some pictures of things that sort of define me or at least illustrate my interests and hobbies. Why do I draw such a blank?
I feel very happy right now in my life. I enjoy my kids so much - they are so often doing things that make me look at them and think, "I have such a nice family" and "Wow, I am really so lucky." I look at the things that I do in a typical day. A large amount of my time is spent feeding people and getting them to sleep. I am constantly behind in my housework. I have discovered that I am much poorer at keeping a clean house than I have previously given myself credit for. It is SO easy for me to put off cleaning when Ryan asks me to read him a book or it's a perfectly clear blue sky outside. I rarely get a break from being "Mom" but I'm also SO invested in the lives of my children that I cannot justify regular time away from them. This is why I cannot come up with a single hobby or interest. Well, that's not entirely true. I cannot come up with an un-pathetic interest. I am often thinking about what to feed my family. Is food an interest of mine? I am always looking for a good deal. Am I a shop-a-holic? I like to read. Who doesn't? Am I doing anything to broaden my horizons? Strengthen my character? Take opportunities for some "Me" time? Not often. Do I have any market-able skills? Do I scrapbook, sew, paint, knit, garden? Not really. I sound very pathetic to myself.
Maybe it comes from moving to a new place and becoming acclimated. I hope to discover something new about myself in the near future. Something positive, something interesting. I'd like to discover what might be a strength for me or some kind of talent that I can actually invest some energy in. Though frankly, I have sure learned a thing or two about myself since becoming a parent. I am not exactly main-stream which has actually surprised even me at times. Still, parenting seems to make us own up to our inconsistencies. I think differently than I did before. Maybe what I really want to be is this unselfish person who is more concerned about my children and their needs and their identities than my own. The rest will work itself out. Maybe in losing myself, I will find myself.
In the meantime... how do I pick some pictures for my blog header that seem to illustrate who I am? (rhetorical question)
I've grown restless with my blog design and in an effort to personalize it, I've stumbled across a sort of crisis. I wanted to put some pictures of things that sort of define me or at least illustrate my interests and hobbies. Why do I draw such a blank?
I feel very happy right now in my life. I enjoy my kids so much - they are so often doing things that make me look at them and think, "I have such a nice family" and "Wow, I am really so lucky." I look at the things that I do in a typical day. A large amount of my time is spent feeding people and getting them to sleep. I am constantly behind in my housework. I have discovered that I am much poorer at keeping a clean house than I have previously given myself credit for. It is SO easy for me to put off cleaning when Ryan asks me to read him a book or it's a perfectly clear blue sky outside. I rarely get a break from being "Mom" but I'm also SO invested in the lives of my children that I cannot justify regular time away from them. This is why I cannot come up with a single hobby or interest. Well, that's not entirely true. I cannot come up with an un-pathetic interest. I am often thinking about what to feed my family. Is food an interest of mine? I am always looking for a good deal. Am I a shop-a-holic? I like to read. Who doesn't? Am I doing anything to broaden my horizons? Strengthen my character? Take opportunities for some "Me" time? Not often. Do I have any market-able skills? Do I scrapbook, sew, paint, knit, garden? Not really. I sound very pathetic to myself.
Maybe it comes from moving to a new place and becoming acclimated. I hope to discover something new about myself in the near future. Something positive, something interesting. I'd like to discover what might be a strength for me or some kind of talent that I can actually invest some energy in. Though frankly, I have sure learned a thing or two about myself since becoming a parent. I am not exactly main-stream which has actually surprised even me at times. Still, parenting seems to make us own up to our inconsistencies. I think differently than I did before. Maybe what I really want to be is this unselfish person who is more concerned about my children and their needs and their identities than my own. The rest will work itself out. Maybe in losing myself, I will find myself.
In the meantime... how do I pick some pictures for my blog header that seem to illustrate who I am? (rhetorical question)
1 comment:
You will NEVER regret the time you spend with these little ones when you are old (like me) and you'll never remember how clean your house was. You do have a GREAT talent---being a mom! Love,
Aunt ME
Post a Comment