Are My Kids the Problem, or is it Just Me?

I am coming to realize more and more that my attitude as a parent has a huge effect on the way my child is behaving. I found this great parent/caregiver checklist that I refer to on our "off" days.

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Parent/Caregiver Self-Check

Sometimes when we are having problems with our children the problem is really with ourselves. Children are quick to pick up on our emotions and our inner state, and that often affects the way they behave. So next time when your child is acting up, being wild, or just plain naughty for “no reason” try to check yourself out before you check him into time out.


· What attitudes am I sending out?

· Am I thinking that my child is in my way/a nuisance rather than a contribution our family and me?

· Am I angry with my spouse or myself?

· Am I behaving in an addictive way (such as spending too much time on the computer or procrastinating or getting sidetracked), which tunes me out from my child’s signals?

· Am I uncomfortable with my child’s display of emotions?

· Am I being unfocused, indecisive, wishy-washy, asking too many questions (to child)?

· Am I being impatient with myself?

· Am I trying to accomplish too many things around the house and not taking time to smell the flowers, smile, laugh, dance?

· Am I being resistant of my child's love, respect and adoration of me?

· Have I kept us in the house all day (no fresh air, people contact, physical activity)?

· Is it a boring day?

· Am I not taking responsibility for my own happiness?

I can promise you that when my child is "acting up", the answers to at least one of these above questions is "YES!" Notice that none of the questions have *anything* to do with what my *child* is doing/saying/being.

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6